The girl beneath the light!

Menstruation feels nothing less than a saga of heroes, but the events are as petty as a fool's gold. Basically, my boobs ache and I lie in the bed the whole day as my ovary sends a message that "an egg is incoming!" That sums up how I feel during my menstrual cycle. But to get a glimpse of the constellation of events that I try to sweep under the carpet, you have to watch like a hawk. Mood change has been a constant spoilsport during this time. However easy a task might seem, be it buying things from the grocery store or something as simple as talking to a person, all of these seem like the emotional baggage of moving a mountain. Everything hits a raw nerve. No matter how placid your disposition is, if you show a wave of small anger or disinterest towards me, I feel like my whole life is a series of terrible misfortunes. That's why I give people a cold shoulder during that time. My whimsicality lines up in the most perfect symphony. Well, that's all about my emotional surge.

Cramps are the worst form of evil I am assuring you. Though I didn't use to feel the pain during the early stages of my cycle i.e. for the first few years, now they've drawn a line in the sand for me. It pains a lot at times, a hell lot. It feels like the veins inside my tummy are getting entangled with each other. Though I feel most of the pain during an initial couple of days. But, the Charley horses are not limited to this, I also feel them in the areas between my groins and thighs. That same pain radiates towards the back of my waist, I can't even move from one side to another on the bed. Moreover, my boobs feel heavy and the muscles inside my tummy feel kind of constricted. There's a heightened irritation followed by mood swings. An induced sense of high emotional sensitivity causes interference with my normal relationships with the people close to me.

Apart from the last day of my menstrual cycle, I am fatigued for the rest of the days. My sleep cycle gets fucked for real as my Zzzz vanishes, though I don't feel like waking up from the bed. I just lay there without doing much. There's a lack of appetite too as my lower stomach behaves as if it has had a bellyful every time the pain intensifies. There's a lingering feeling of sadness. Another difficulty I face while menstruating is that I cannot sit for hours at a concrete base for long. Even a soft place doesn't work sometimes. I have to lay down after sitting for a considerable time to release the pain. I am so depressed and achy with a face like a wet weekend feeling like covering a multitude of sins in my wardrobe or, umm exhaust my tear glands in the bathroom. There's also this feeling of acting with an impulsive vehemence, as in throwing my phone towards the wall or breaking the TV screen all at once. Did I tell you that I stain my clothes every time I try to show a little movement of my body parts? It is almost nightmarish if someone knocks at the door on those days because then I have to get up and change my dress. I might as well mention that I don't like to change the sanitary napkins, it's too much of a hassle. 

Wait! Now comes the adventurous part. I feel like having sex. Yes, you heard it right. The intensity of my horniness increases. Well, who aroused me? This sexual euphoria is another reason for my hormones behaving like a bitch. Though I don't display exaggerated sexual behavioural patterns due to limitations, there's a feeling of uneasiness and irritation for not being able to do what I want. Ugh, I hate this feeling! Are you kidding me, all of this just because of some hormonal changes? It would have been much better if the egg would have met a sperm instead!