The gracious fall!

"बात बस से निकल चली है, 

दिल की हालत संभल चली है, 

अब जूनून हद से बढ़ चला है, 

अब तबियत बेहाल चली है।"

ART is making me die for him. Pain is seeking vengeance every moment. Happiness has been knocked down by me long back. Life is a curvy mixture of various brackish drugs.

How do one live? I mean, I don't know what I'm saying. I don't make much sense these days, I know. But I'm feeling every emotions so profoundly. I'm growing into a person that I was not a few years back. This process is constant now. I won't say I'm enjoying this very much, but I will definitely say that I'm LIVING it.

Now, coming to some sane discussions about you. How are you? I'm asking this genuinely, though without any intention for the same. But you always manage to enquire about my whereabouts. I'm grateful for that. Not many people do that. Genuinely. Thank you, maybe.

I would say that enjoy every moment you can along with living them. Because once they are gone, regret will bury you in the deepest of the grave. Even if you want to get out, you will drown deeper. Sounds pessimistic? But truth often is! You taught me to live in the moment. I wish you had taught me that a few years back. It's late. Now. Unintentionally. But thank you, once again, maybe.

This isn't a musing of some hopeless survivor but a thought of a warrior who is trying to warn you for the better. May you live long and reign hard. How paradoxical it is, telling you to live the very life which I despise these days. But you'll deal with this bitch (life) better than me, I believe somehow. I wish too.

I won't mention a thing about the pandemic which is bothering us these days. Because honestly, I've had enough. More than enough. I would rather visit the broad street and write love-letters to the hundreds and thousands of warriors like me and spread it like the virus and make it jealous of the love I contain inside me.

This is the 3rd draft of the letter. Hopefully, I'll hit the send button this time. The previous two drafts were distasteful. These are my raw emotions, and I think that if you can't enjoy these words, then you can't enjoy with me too. I live for them. I live because of them. This is so scattered, I know. But the beauty lies therein. And remember how we all are craving for beauty. I could even smell it from here. Could you? Don't disappoint me. Tell me you could. Please.

Will you stay? 

Only this time?

Just.

Yours,

Economically deprived daily journeyman.

P.s. Don't discard this as the random musings of a hurt warrior. Read it and drown in these words. Feel all the pain. Don't ever let me tell you that 'I wish you to be happy, not sad'. I want you to be sad. Read it before I change my mind because not many people offer you pain. They run after blinding happiness. But I, I want pain.